The Table of Contents of Bored of the Rings:

Foreward
Prologue-Concerning Boggies
I. It's My Party and I'll Snub Who I Want To
II. Three's Company, Four's a Bore
III. Indigestion at the Sign of the Goode Eats
IV. Finder's Keepers, Finders Weepers
V. Some Monsters
VI. The Rider's of Roi-Tan
VII. Serutan Spelled Backward Is Mud
VIII. Schlob's Lair and Other Mountain Resorts
IX. Minas Troney in the Soup
X. Be It Ever So Horrid

"If you want to wear a hat,
You'll have to get one that is better than that."

"We locked ourselves in the Squash Court with enough Fritos and Dr.Pepper to choke a horse. (Eventually the production of this turkey actually required the choking of a small horse, but that's another story entirely.)"

"Do you mean they're not still planning to kill me?"
"Kill you? Stick you in a sacred cave, more like, and sacrafice virgins to you. Pity it'd be such a waste. I could use a bit of that myself."
"I'll hand them over to you."

"Love was smacking him in the face with a frozen trout."

"He was stopped by her patented 'Zip-It-Or-I-Will-Damage-Some-Of-Your-Favorite-Organs' Glare"

"Remember, if you don't know what that means, it never hurts to ask....Unless someone hits you for being stupid...."

....With a baka fan!


"Penguin!"
"Oh my gosh, you cannot have my penguin!"
"One day we will be reunited and our love will prosper and grow"

"Maruha medama
Maruha kirei
Kuroibudouno
Amaiagi

Sankakuha gikan
Sankakuha hayai
Sakana no shippono
Furuekata

Shikakuha Sora
Shikakuha Hirui
Hanawo kandera
Iinaoi"

The Ariane Explanation for Global Warming:
Well, at one point something large in the sky died and it's floating in our orbit, rotting, and the decomposition is giving off heat.
GLOBAL WARMING IS A LARGE DEAD ELEPHANT, OH GOD.

"Snails are people too"

"The reading was so boring that I fell asleep. Twice. Once at the kitchen table and I have never done that before"

"Everywhere there's lots of piggies,
Living piggy lives.
You can see them out for dinner,
With their piggy wives"

"Why don't we do it in the road?
No one will be watching us
Why don't we do it in the road?"

"HEY THERE!(ugh! thats was dumb!)eet story! I'm real confused on the "Vegeta is Hank in a dffrent dimention thing" So could you explane that a *bit* more theroghly?(sp?) THANKS! keep going! and Gokus dead right? then how can they be fighting? (sry i get really lost when it comes to that kind of stuff) (They=Vegeta+Goku ((dont you love algebra ;)?)"*

*I swear that's a real review of a fanfiction and the author's note at the beginning said 'Goku is alive'

"Oh-Oh! Squirrel died..."

"And no matter what I do the light won't stop blinking"
"Come on, Boromir, you can kill it!"
"I will get my strength from the white city!"
"Aw man, gotta love the white city!"
"YES! I did it! Minas Tirith came through for me!"

"Home is behind
The world ahead
And there are many paths to tread
Through shadow
To the edge of night
Until the stars are all alight
Mist and shadow
Cloud and shade
All shall fade
All shall fade"