"I've never been persuaded you had much of a soul. More like a little damp anchovy stuck between your breasts, trying to breathe. That's what you smell like anyway."
"They looked at her with baleful gloom, as if scraping carrots efficiently was their chief ambition in life."
"I looked at my watch and twenty or twenty five minutes had passed and I realized I had to get dressed..."
Saturday, November 19, 2005
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
“Nikki asked me to buy her a drink, what should I get her?”
“I don’t know…how about a drink?”
“That’s just it, she told me to surprise her”
“Serve it to her naked.”
"Don't throw up," said exactly the last voice she wanted to hear. "There isn't any water for you to drink and you'll wreck my shoes."
"My, people come and go so quickly here"
"Why don't you haul off and love me?"
"How about this lovely shade of...purpla?"
"That's purple...and yet you had no trouble pronouncing pomegranate"
"It was my mother's name"
One-eyed Joe: So I says to him, I says, "That's no land gnome, that's my wife!" And that children is how I lost my eye.
“I don’t know…how about a drink?”
“That’s just it, she told me to surprise her”
“Serve it to her naked.”
"Don't throw up," said exactly the last voice she wanted to hear. "There isn't any water for you to drink and you'll wreck my shoes."
"My, people come and go so quickly here"
"Why don't you haul off and love me?"
"How about this lovely shade of...purpla?"
"That's purple...and yet you had no trouble pronouncing pomegranate"
"It was my mother's name"
One-eyed Joe: So I says to him, I says, "That's no land gnome, that's my wife!" And that children is how I lost my eye.
Sunday, November 13, 2005
"Love Means Never Having to Dust the Zucchinis"
"I, Cassie Lee Furr, do bequeath my diamond ring to Miss Croslan, but she'll have to get her own man"
"I, Don Todd, will my spiral sideburns to Jeanne Ellerbe"
"I, Catherine Buckwell, do leave my ability to get around to Betty McDonald with the warning that she'll have to hurry if she covers the ground that I did"
"I, Kitty Davidson, being of a sympathetic nature do will my sharpest bicuspid to 'Toothless' Thomas Templeton"
"I, L.B. Howell, leave my seat in the senior class to my cousin, Jean, in hopes tht in the next 20 or 30 years, she, too, will become a Senior"
"I, Marshall Haywood, leave my horn rimmed glasses to the student council, said glasses to be used in detecting dust while checking rooms"
"I, Morris McLaurin, do bequeath my love for music to Charles Richardson, in the hopes that some day he will learn to play his clarinet"
"I, Betty Brand, will my last bottle of peroxide to Penny Hudson. I may decide to throw in my hair too, for it's had about all the treatments it can stand"
The Caption Next to Betty Brand's Picture:
"Unexpected hair do's...which man now?...hep cat...likable...classy lassie"
"I, Cassie Lee Furr, do bequeath my diamond ring to Miss Croslan, but she'll have to get her own man"
"I, Don Todd, will my spiral sideburns to Jeanne Ellerbe"
"I, Catherine Buckwell, do leave my ability to get around to Betty McDonald with the warning that she'll have to hurry if she covers the ground that I did"
"I, Kitty Davidson, being of a sympathetic nature do will my sharpest bicuspid to 'Toothless' Thomas Templeton"
"I, L.B. Howell, leave my seat in the senior class to my cousin, Jean, in hopes tht in the next 20 or 30 years, she, too, will become a Senior"
"I, Marshall Haywood, leave my horn rimmed glasses to the student council, said glasses to be used in detecting dust while checking rooms"
"I, Morris McLaurin, do bequeath my love for music to Charles Richardson, in the hopes that some day he will learn to play his clarinet"
"I, Betty Brand, will my last bottle of peroxide to Penny Hudson. I may decide to throw in my hair too, for it's had about all the treatments it can stand"
The Caption Next to Betty Brand's Picture:
"Unexpected hair do's...which man now?...hep cat...likable...classy lassie"