"You can't throw a rock in Atlanta without hitting some grilled fish taco stand"

"I'm tired of all this sex on the television....I keep falling off"

"1. Sarah
A girl who is so perfect that even being near her makes one happier. A girl who's personality is so kind and caring that it makes Jesus look like a demon, and is loving and considerate of the other rather than herself. She forgives all and cannot hate, unless it's a really bad band. A person who makes the impossible possible. She also has a unique sense of everything, making herself an individual in both music and fashion, and though her music is not commonly appreciated by pop lovers, it's loved by her friends, who some way or another have gained from her friendship. In short, A mortal divinity. The most wonderful person in the world that one would be greatful even to look upon
-Courtesy of urbandictionary.com!"
Deciding to try this for myself, I searched for Samantha:
"Samantha is undefined"
I'm not sure which is a better description

"1. Ariane
A notably striking individual that exemplifies every essense of the words beauty and elegance. See hottie.
I am truely impressed by Ariane's free spirit and good hearted nature."
"You know David wrote that"
"I hope not"
"I would be completely not surprised"
"That's the sad part, neither would I"

"2. Keegan's Hole 3 thumbs upAn Irish boy for which a pub is named after. It's not his butt, I promise"

"Any minute now a squadron of pigs would do a fly-by."

"My armpits smell nice"

"She strode into the room with the air of confidence that only really fantastic underwear can lend"

Me: basically, my wall is a scrapbook
John: I used to do that with my computer.
John: Like, I had... 200 pictures of random shit?
Me: nifty
John: Yeah, then my mom saw one of them from Gasparilla. I took a picture of my friend Chris, and this girl wasn't facing us, but she was lifting her shirt up in the background.
Me: YES
John: My mom thought I was doing some Girls Gone Wild shit or something.
Me: hahahaha
Me: oh thats bad
John: I was like, "She wasn't even facing us. That's like girls gone the other way, but still wild."

"On a side note, I was scrolling down real fast and the Greek Muses quiz looked like it said, 'Good Gracious! Are you Moses?'"

"THINK BEFORE YOU FUCK"

"You've been in college two months and you're already pregnant?...You disappoint me..."

"You will take me Jewish?"

Error: You must be someone's friend to make comments about them.

"Ignorance of good and evil is the most upsetting fact of human life"

"Hunger I can endure, love I cannot"

"You can only protect your liberties in this world by protecting the other man's freedom. You can only be free if I am free"

"Death is not the greatest of evils; it is worse to want to die, and not be able to"

"I have to go steal socks from my brother"
"..."
"Well, how do you get socks?"

Ryan: OMGSAMHAHACANADAISAWSOMEWOO
Me: it really is
Ryan: IFEELBADBECAUSEIFORGOTWHATTODAYWAS
Ryan: TODAYISALLCAPSNOSPACESORPUNCTUATIONDAY
Me: OHMYGOODNESSFERSERIOUSIHADNOCLUE
Me: IWISHIDDRESSEDFORTHEOCCASION
Ryan:HAHAMETOOBUTYOUDONTNEEDTODRESSTHATSTHEBESTPARTITSALLTYPINGHAHAWOOEXCLIMATIONPOINT
Me: THATISGREATIWASWORRIEDIWOULDNTBEGOODENOUGHFORSUCHAHOLIDAY
Ryan:ITSBETTERTHENCHRISTMASCAUSEITSLIKEONCEAWEEK
Me: OHWOWYOUARESORIGHTITISTHEAWESOMENESS
Ryan: HAHAWOO
Ryan: ok im done
Me: yeah it was actually more difficult not to space
Ryan: yeah
Ryan: and i use too ma,ny commas, to not punctua,te

"t 8:44 exactly today I got 7 messages
Titled...
1. Iam Intrested
2. Hey Hottie!
3. Iam Intrested
4. Hey Sexy
5. Hey baby
6. Yummy!!!
7. Hey baby
I wonder if they are related, or maybe everyone just realized I'm awsome all at once. They were from 7 different people. I was sitting here having a conversation then BAM 7 all at once!"
"Well, you are sexy. Seven people were bound to notice. At once."

"Internet porn is like a mousetrap"

"Your eyes are really dark"
"They are?...Gah, I just tried to look at them"

"Hey, look it's Hannya!"

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.
-116

"March 3rd has been CANCELLED due to lack of interest... again. Your regularly scheduled news will resume tomorrow when we're sure interest will return. Until then, Happy March 3rd!"

"I was sick and then they took my blood; there was like a pint of samantha just sitting on this table"
"I want a pint of samantha, but then the rest, too"

"Please keep the length of the entries to between 30 and 60 seconds otherwise you will be slapped with a trout"