"Let's go kill some racists with our nipples!"

"I will have children with you solely so I can kill those children"

"I swear, Officer, they're not mine, I stole them from my friend"

"And I'd just like to say something to all of those who went before:
Thank you for being poisoned by the random plants you found so that one day we would all know what not to eat"

"The Hayashi sect could even understand Christianity, but interest rates were just beyond their scope"

"Do not try to force paper into the All-in-One because it will try to eat your first born child"

"Beef-Bam thinks I'm deep"

"Another word for like...power hungry?"
"You're asking the Chem major?"
"It's like greedy...Ambitious!"
"...I don't know if that's quite right. I don't know the context you're using it in"
"Don't worry about it. It's like when you ask me about Physics"

"I think I may have come to the wrong house. Can I get a hug?"
- Would-be Robber