"You get used to it. It's like riding a bicycle. Well, it's more like someone riding a bicycle into your ass"

"'RAWR'...That's 'I love you' in dinosaur"

"The word for turkey in Brazil is Peru"

"OW, you have really big hands!"
"You've seen my penis"

"Did you seriously just rip out my soul and go 'Ha ha!'?"

"Well, I was trying to write 'Fuck, I miss him' but it came out 'Miss, I fuck him'"

"Paula Deen has a recipe for a cake that is called the "Is it really better than sex cake"
"Yeah, maybe it's better than sex with Paula Deen, but I don't think it's better than sex"

"Results for 'hot cake' may contain adult-oriented content. Your SafeSearch filter must be turned off to display these results"

"I totally reverse cowgirled a Scottish lion"

"Let's touch base"
"No. Fuck you"

"It's true, your logic is not linear"
"I think it's Russian"