"Somebody just gnawed on this arm like some kind of man-corn?"

"He reminded me that Rock Band is like rooting for the Dodgers...It's not about winning, it's about playing the game"

"I spent the next one hundred and twenty seconds using every swear word I know"

"Was that rhetorical?"
"No, it only seems that way because you can't think of an answer"

"That's like the same eyebrow that Alan Rickman raised when he saw Hugh Grant wearing the crocodile on his head"