"She flung her suitcase like you fling your butt"

"I've already been there, I'm not going to squeal...well, maybe once"
"How many times have you seen dogs?"

"I didn't sleep much...So I was hitting keys at what looked like random and then I fell over...Like a whale"

Me: i think i shall fall over now
Me: yes i was right
David: i didn't see it, therefore, it didn't happen
David: .........worst thing to ever be uttered by a historian

"Psychorrhagia, which, not listed as a medical emergency, but sounding like it should be, is the detachment of the soul from the psychic element - the prognosis is presumably grave"

"Any word born of the head, genitals and emotion is bound to have something to say about insanity"

"Her taste in partners is abominable"
"Well, it's a good thing she never dated me because then I'd be a snowman"

"You’ll be as lame as a three-hundred year old horse and then I’ll have to shoot you”

"As it drew level, its driver, leaning out of his cab, yelled something at my companion and sent a black-eyed saluation to me that somehow, without a word being intelligible, made me understand that, though incompetent, I was female and therefore delightful, and that was just how it should be"

"Feeling patriotic today. Thinking about killing a beaver or something"
Happy Canada Day