This is very old.

The Story of Samantha OR Why Mike Is Teh R0XX0R
Me: trig is the worst
Me: just fifteen problems
Me: and i really do almost cry
Mike: is it like geometry?
Me: and then i dont
Me: no
Me: its like
Me: geometry that sat in a dumpster
Me: then a pteradactyl came along
Me: and ate it
Me: then it vomited it on a atomic bomb testing site
Me: then some old man put it in a text book and spelled it wrong
Me: and then some other old man goes on and on about pi while being repulsive
Me: telling us all of the answers
Me: but never actually telling us what they are the answer to
Mike: CRAZEH
Mike: aaah
Me: run and cower
Me: the worst part is
Me: is that its honors
Mike: EW
Me: so it does the entire sequence again
Me: wearing a tacky outfit
Me: and broken platform shoes
Me: with flourescent lighting
Mike: hahaha
Mike: damn
Mike: i ill make sure to not take it next year
Me: and i have fifteen problems of it
Me: so i experience every second of pteradactyl digestion
Me: and i am blinded by the light
Me: and i cant escape it
Me: i cant take the maths that ariane gets away with
Me: because i
Me: in my infinite wisdom
Me: have decided to take ap calculus
Me: and so i must take honors trig
Mike: EHHH
Mike: NOT GOOd
Me: and honors precal
Me: and then the ever encroaching ap calc
Mike: SAM?
Mike: crazines!
Me: yes well
Me: im also in honors anatomy
Me: the craziest part
Me: is i want to be a lawyer
Mike: ::gonk::
Mike: lol
Me: yes well
Me: i have to be well rounded in high school
Me: to get into a good college
Me: then there i shirk math
Mike: :-P
Me: for social studies
Me: so i can get into a good law school
Me: so that i can quickly become a judge
Mike: cool
Me: so then my husband can run away with a young tahtitian
Mike: wow
Mike: you got your life planned
Me: and i can have all of my high society friends
Me: and they can comfort me
Me: then ill join one of those secret sex clubs
Mike: hahahaha
Me: because the courts have jaded my morals
Me: and my husband left me devastated and insecure
Me: and then i will end up getting shot by a screwed over lover of a man i sentenced
Me: but i wont die
Me: ill contract an infection in the hospital
Me: i will sue the county
Me: my friends who are judges will all have to recuse themselves
Mike: hahaha this is great
Mike: lol
Me: my case will be stuck inbetween until i end up so sick that i end up in a hospice
Me: then i will discover on one of my wheelchair rides
Me: that my exhusband contracted syphilis from beverly
Me: and that he is crazy, has a shriveled penis, and is dying
Mike: lmao
Me: and then he will beg my forgiveness inbetween asking for more red socks
Me: and i will pull the plug
Me: but as i lay dying i will discover i accidently pulled my own plug
Mike: haahaha
Me: and i will discover this is what happens when you try to kill someone
Me: then i will not die
Me: but i will find out i didnt actualy have an infection
Me: i just had a reaction to life support
Me: and i will regain my bench
Me: but then i will go crazy
Me: er
Mike: ha
Mike: ha
Mike: ha
Me: and burn down the courthouse
Mike: lovely
Me: and then i will be arrested
Me: and raped
Me: in the ear
Mike: aww!
Mike: oww
Me: by someone who was in arianes sex ed class
Me: and heard her ask about ear sex
Me: and then all my judge friends will not be my friends and have to recuse themselves
Me: but there will be some young man to take my place
Me: and he will pity me and my ever enlarging ear
Mike: heh
Mike: heh
Me: and so will sentence me to solitary confinement
Mike: aw
Me: where the guard bertha will fall in love with me
Me: and i will cry
Me: but then she will set me free
Me: and i dance
Me: and then i discover all of that was taped
Me: so bertha also goes to jail
Me: and i go to a mental home because i danced so oddly
Mike: poor bertha
Mike: hahaha
Mike: what kind of dance?
Me: the cucumber dance
Me: and then
Me: mars will be colonized
Mike: oh, does the cucumber dance turn cucumbers into pickles?
Me: and i will grab the first shuttle there
Me: to avoid the gate disaster
Me: no
Me: its just dancing
Mike: aww
Me: while you have a cucumber
Me: and are eating it
Mike: haha
Mike: are there aliens on mars?
Me: only the kind that are illegal immigrants
Me: i will then be killed in the crossfire of some shooting
Me: but i will be frozen by my exhusband
Me: who is still living
Me: with his swiss cheese brains
Me: and when they unfreeze me
Me: i will bleed to death because that was going to happen anyway
Me: and i will be buried
Me: and the tombstone shall read:
Me: "Samantha
Me: 1988-2789
Me: Whoa..."
Mike: NO
Mike: you cant be dead!
Mike: then i come and resurrect you from the grave with cucumber dance
Mike: and now your a half-zombie half-robot
Me: youre still alive in 2789?
Mike: YES
Mike: cause i put my brain in a machine
Mike: my body is in a ditch in the hillsborugh river
Mike: so you and me start to make a HUGE robo-army and invade eath
Mike: we go and rape all the court houses cause they caused you so much trouble
Me: but im the queen cause im also a zombie
Mike: and lasers flash EVERYwhere
Me: but in a more attractive than the hanging flesh kind
Mike: of course
Mike: then the pirates and ninjas are like
Mike: wtf
Mike: so they fight over the island of lesbos
Mike: cause they want lesbian sex
Mike: so the robots are like wtf
Mike: so they lauch nukes at pluto
Mike: and it dies
Mike: but the zombies are sad
Mike: so they rape the robots
Mike: anally
Mike: it hurts a lot
Me: does a robot have an anus?
Mike: no
Mike: thats why it hurts a lot
Me: ah
Mike: so the pirateas and ninjas are like "we hafta save our robo friends"
Mike: so they bring back to life all the dinosuars
Mike: with a magic remote
Mike: and the t-rex eats all the zombies
Mike: but the t-rez dies from zombie poison
Mike: and the robos have to go to mental facilities to get over the anal rapage
Mike: so Bob the ninja goes to eat at a diner
Mike: and the waiter drops a spoon
Mike: and the ninja flips out and kills everyone in the city
Mike: so the pirates are like "ARGGGH"
Mike: and bob is like
Mike: shit
Mike: so he pisses his pants and suffocates himself in milk
Mike: the normal- ninja suicide
Me: and we continue to rule the worlds
Mike: yes with an iron foot
Mike: until california decides to break away from america
Mike: to go hang with hawaii
Mike: alaska can come too
Mike: and its one big trio of crazy, annoyed american states
Me: thus ended the saga of samantha and mike, crazy robot tyrants
Mike: yes indeed